By Julie Coker
Dear Julie,
My girlfriend of one and a half years broke up with me out of
the blue. We never fought or argued. I asked her why but she
wouldn’t say a word. I asked her what did I do wrong and she
said “nothing.” She was my first ever girlfriend and I was
planning to ask her to marry me. I don’t understand what I
did wrong. There has to be a reason. Why won’t she tell me?
Albert, Enugu
Dear Albert,
Breaking up is hard to do, especially when you are the one
left wondering what went wrong. This must be a tough time
for you, especially considering that you were planning on
proposing. It can appear challenging to start over when you
thought you had your life all squared away. But start over
you must! Have faith and believe in yourself — it will become
easier with time.
What really matters is that you realize you did nothing wrong
and that you couldn’t have prevented the break up. In order
to heal, it may help to have a sense of closure. Why it ended
needs to be clear to you; otherwise, you may have doubts
about the relationship and yourself for a long time. Do you
feel comfortable letting your ex-girlfriend know that an
explanation, or one reason, for breaking up with you will help
you to go on with your life? Even if it has nothing to do with
you, you deserve to know at least part of the reason why. It
is possible that she may not even know why she broke up
with you.
Have you considered the possibility that your ex-girlfriend
needs some personal space and time to reflect on her needs
and desires.
While unpleasant to think about, it is always good to have a
back-up plan in case she won’t give you an answer. Your
family and friends may help you to reaffirm your self-
confidence and move forward in life and new fulfilling
relationships
Cc:Vanguard
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